Remember mine in my own business that day riding the train just headed home after doing some peer support work. As the train was filing up pretty fast with high school kids out of my eyes I saw this stunning woman shot a baby with her and a stroller. I shoot getting on the train struggling to find somewhere to stand with her and her son I want to say it was shocking but it wasn't that these high school kids wouldn't even bother moving for her so I just remember stepping up and saying hey get the f*** out of the way so this lady and her baby could have a spot. She said thank you we shared some small talk and as I was getting off the train she told me that her to Facebook and I said okay I added her up kind of went on my way we tired a little bit you know had a bunch of conversations then talk for big stretches of times then we talked for a while you know not talk for a stretch. Before I knew it we knew each other for like 3 years and we never actually hunted they just you know grab coffee or anything and last summer I need somebody to watch my dog I believe for a weekend and I knew she had dogs so I posted something online and she replied that she would do it. Well. She ended up dog sitting and we actually started hanging out like quite a bit as friends. And I was extremely lucky last summer playing on my casinos I won quite a bit of money to be honest and I I am the type of person to help somebody out if they need it and I can do it so it was times where I seen that in a single mom yo maybe grab a couple groceries for her or something I just thought of the blue and I'll just try to help out. And then one day in conversation Great Wolf falls was brought up and I had a ball tournament and Niagara falls last Summer and I asked her for the sun would want to spend the weekend at Great Wolf Lodge just his friends just you know have a good time they had their own room I had my own sleeping quarters but I noticed the more we hung out the more her dialogue started change to words that were more than just the typical friend kind of conversations we had. So stand up coming up to Great Wolf Lodge and when she first got there she actually came up after I did just to make things clear. So I was getting back from my ball game and she was getting changed with and her son was getting changed to go swimming but they wanted to wait till I got there and when I walked in the hotel room she was in this amazing two piece bikini and I always thought she was attractive but this was just I saw exactly what she really look like. So I ended up meeting them down in the pool area and you know just give me a hug whatever weirdest playing in the water park the three of us so when it close we went upstairs and we're all going to grab dinner with the dinner coaches and I got out of the shower and then her son went in her son came out of the shower and then she called me into the bathroom while she was in the shower and It really threw me for a loop. I bet a lot of people reading this we're pricing it haha I got to see her naked no his son was there and I try to be a respectful person. So I said I'll just wait till you come out you can tell me or ask me whatever well when she gets out of the shower and stuff towels off she's like what what should I wear for dinner and she brought this little tight black dress and a couple other things and I was like well single mail me says little black dress respectful friend me says one of the other outfits. Well needless to say that we came back from dinner her son went to bed we were just laying on the my bed we're talking just kind of cuddling watching a movie and eventually we both retired to our own rooms. And then we woke up in a Sunday trying to get stuff ready to go but we wanted to go have fun in the water park and it was almost like she's intentionally trying to start an argument and I was like I didn't get it and we're both very tired and we started arguing and I kind of chopped it up to the lack of sleep so we didn't talk for about a month and a half and other birthday I said her happy birthday message you know just being nice and we end up hanging out that night and needless to say we're hanging out at her place her friend came over and it was getting late and her friend was like she's she's like he walked my friend home and then she told me to come back well I don't know why but I didn't and we didn't end up talking till around my birthday this year and we hung out once and then the week of my birthday she wanted to meet up and when I met her and she was with her friend she literally wrapped her legs around me give me a kiss on the cheek whatever and it just threw me off we don't go talking we didn't talk for the longest time after the Great Wolf Lodge vacation or get away then this so I actually needed somebody to dog sit for me again and watch my dog so the Friday before I go over I gave her a call and I take y'all leaving soon and chose my son still here he doesn't want to go to school tillthe dog gets here and I said okay will be there shortly so at the end of the conversation clears day I hear you say I love you I kind of shrugged it off and she made sure she said it even clearer second time I didn't know how to respond to it. And after that Sunday when I picked up my dog we haven't spoken and it sucks because I it's a good person really awesome person to talk to and I just feel like I screwed up any advice or thoughts?

Picked this up as a seasonal job to supplement a few extra dollars to my already current job. I enjoy busy work but this was just slave work. 3rd day was already loading 2 trucks, not to bad at all. By the second week I was moved further down the line to have 3 trucks, 1 being a post office run so all items had to be scanned. Between the 3 trucks roughly 1000-1200 pieces. This past Saturday I was bumped up to 4 trucks which was a living hell even with 2 of them not being live. Went in this morning and the manager said I had the last 5 trucks (my 3 normal and 2 others). As soon as he said that, I followed up with “Todays my last day”. He was in shock and even another manager came and asked if I was serious. Dead serious, like I said I enjoy busy work but I’m not going to be wrecked with no help or a puller for $21 an hour. UPS honestly sucked and just 4 weeks later I had enough. I knew it was going to be busy tough work but not worth the few extra hundred dollars a week and being exhausted most days at my primary job.

Hi folks,
Reaching out today because I've recently become intrigued by the MSP space and would love to discuss software-facing opportunities in Eastern WA or remote.
I'm an experienced inside sales rep, spending the last 4.5yrs with two of the largest VARs in the country. Most of my licensing experience is around Microsoft SLP and MPSA (though I'd love to learn CSP) as well as Adobe (Enterprise agreements and VIP programs), Autodesk, VMWare, Techsmith (Snagit and Camtasia) with surface-level familiarity of the EMDR offerings from Sophos and Crowdstrike.
I'm not a one trick sales pony - I once owned and operated a small business removing viruses from computers on the residential and commercial side, and have built out several custom systems for myself and by request of others. Very much willing to start out on the help desk.
Happy to share a resume or LinkedIn if desired. Ideally would like to $80k salary, but would be willing to discuss based on position.

JUMP TO COMMENTS This will now be used as a campaign thread for Starlink launches. You can find the most important details about a upcoming launch in the section below.
This thread can be also used for other small Starlink-related matters; for example, a new ground station, photos, questions, routine FCC applications, and the like.

General Starlink Informations

Starlink Shells

Shell #	Inclination	Altitude	Planes	Sat/plane	Total	Operating
Group 1	53°	550km	72	22	1584	1459
Group 2	70°	570km	36	20	720	18
Group 4	53.2°	540km	72	22	1584	272
Group ?	97.6°	560km	6	58	348
Group ?	97.6°	560km	4	43	172
Total					4408	1749

The Total column is the number listed in the FAA filing. The Operational column is the number of satellites in the operational orbit. Satellites not in the operational orbit may (or may not!) be providing operational service. Last updated 2022-05-11. No satellites from launch 4-10 or later have yet reached their operational orbit.

Previous and Pending Starlink Missions

Mission	Date (UTC)	Core	Pad	Deployment Orbit	Notes [Sat Update Bot]
Starlink v0.9	2019-05-24	1049.3	SLC-40	440km 53°	60 test satellites with Ku band antennas
Starlink V1.0-L1	2019-11-11	1048.4	SLC-40	280km 53°	60 version 1 satellites, v1.0 includes Ka band antennas
Starlink V1.0-L2	2020-01-07	1049.4	SLC-40	290km 53°	60 version 1 satellites, 1 sat with experimental antireflective coating
Starlink V1.0-L3	2020-01-29	1051.3	SLC-40	290km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L4	2020-02-17	1056.4	SLC-40	212km x 386km 53°	60 version 1, Change to elliptical deployment, Failed booster landing
Starlink V1.0-L5	2020-03-18	1048.5	LC-39A	~ 210km x 390km 53°	60 version 1, S1 early engine shutdown, booster lost post separation
Starlink V1.0-L6	2020-04-22	1051.4	LC-39A	~ 210km x 390km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L7	2020-06-04	1049.5	SLC-40	~ 210km x 390km 53°	60 version 1 satellites, 1 sat with experimental sun-visor
Starlink V1.0-L8	2020-06-13	1059.3	SLC-40	~ 210km x 390km 53°	58 version 1 satellites with Skysat 16, 17, 18
Starlink V1.0-L9	2020-08-07	1051.5	LC-39A	403km x 386km 53°	57 version 1 satellites with BlackSky 7 & 8, all with sun-visor
Starlink V1.0-L10	2020-08-18	1049.6	SLC-40	~ 210km x 390km 53°	58 version 1 satellites with SkySat 19, 20, 21
Starlink V1.0-L11	2020-09-03	1060.2	LC-39A	~ 210km x 360km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L12	2020-10-06	1058.3	LC-39A	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L13	2020-10-18	1051.6	LC-39A	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L14	2020-10-24	1060.3	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L15	2020-11-25	1049.7	SLC-40	~ 213 x 366km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L16	2021-01-20	1051.8	LC-39A	~ 213 x 366km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Transporter-1	2021-01-24	1058.5	SLC-40	~ 525 x 525km 97°	10 version 1 satellites with lasers
Starlink V1.0-L18	2021-02-04	1060.5	SLC-40	~ 213 x 366km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L19	2021-02-16	1059.6	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites, 1st stage landing failed
Starlink V1.0-L17	2021-03-04	1049.8	LC-39A	~ 213 x 366km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L20	2021-03-11	1058.6	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L21	2021-03-14	1051.9	LC-39A	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L22	2021-03-24	1060.6	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L23	2021-04-07	1058.7	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L24	2021-04-29	1060.7	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites, white paint thermal experiments
Starlink V1.0-L25	2021-05-04	1049.9	LC-39A	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Starlink V1.0-L27	2021-05-09	1051.10	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites, first 10th flight of a booster
Starlink V1.0-L26	2021-05-15	1058.8	LC-39A	~ 560 km 53°	52 version 1 satellites , Capella & Tyvak rideshare
Starlink V1.0-L28	2021-05-26	1063.2	SLC-40	~ 261 x 278 km 53°	60 version 1 satellites
Transporter-2	2021-06-30	1060.8	SLC-40	~ 525 x 525 km 97°	3 version 1 satellites with lasers
Starlink 2-1	2021-09-14	1049.10	SLC-4E	~ 213 x 343 km 70°	51 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-1	2021-11-13	1058.9	SLC-40	~ 212 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-3	2021-12-02	1060.9	SLC-40	~ 425 x 435 km 53.2°	48 version 1.5 satellites with with BlackSky 12 & 13
Starlink 4-4	2021-12-18	1051.11	SLC-4E	~ 211 x 341 km 53.2°	52 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-5	2022-01-06	1062.4	LC-39A	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	49 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-6	2022-01-19	1060.10	LC-39A	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	49 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-7	2022-02-03	1061.6	LC-39A	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	49 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-8	2022-02-21	1058.11	SLC-40	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	46 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-11	2022-02-25	1063.4	SLC-4E	~ 211 x 341 km 53.2°	50 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-9	2022-03-03	1060.11	LC-39A	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	47 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-10	2022-03-09	1052.4	SLC-40	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	48 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-12	2022-03-19	1051.12	SLC-40	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-14	2022-04-21	1060.12	SLC-40	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-16	2022-04-29	1062.6	SLC-40	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-17	2022-05-06	1058.12	LC-39A	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-13	2022-05-13	1063.5	SLC-4E	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-15	2022-05-14	1073.1	SLC-40	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
	-	-	-	-	-
Starlink 4-18	NET 2022-05-18	1052.5	LC-39A	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-xx	NET 2022-06-xx	unknown	SLC-4E	~ 210 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 2-3	unknown	unknown	SLC-4E	~ 213 x 343 km 70°	51 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 4-2	unknown	unknown	SLC-40/LC-39A	~ 212 x 339 km 53.2°	53 version 1.5 satellites
Starlink 2-2	unknown	unknown	unknown	~ 213 x 343 km 70°	51 version 1.5 satellites (or less)

^{Daily Starlink altitude updates on Twitter @StarlinkUpdates available a few days following deployment.}

Starlink Versions

Starlink V0.9

The first batch of starlink sats launched in the new starlink formfactor. Each sat had a launch mass of 227kg. They have only a Ku-band antenna installed on the sat. Many of them are now being actively deorbited

Starlink V1.0

The upgraded productional batch of starlink sats ,everyone launched since Nov 2019 belongs to this version. Upgrades include a Ka-band antenna. The launch mass increased to ~260kg.

Starlink DarkSat

Darksat is a prototype with a darker coating on the bottom to reduce reflectivity, launched on Starlink V1.0-L2. Due to reflection in the IR spectrum and stronger heating, this approach was no longer pursued

Starlink VisorSat

VisorSat is SpaceX's currently approach to solve the reflection issue when the sats have reached their operational orbit. The first prototype was launched on Starlink V1.0-L7 in June 2020. Starlink V1.0-L9 will be the first launch with every sat being an upgraded VisorSat

Starlink V1.5

These satellites include laser links to other satellites. Prototype lasers were launched to polar orbits on Transporter 1 & 2 with production launches beginning with Starlink 2-1.

Links & Resources

• Regulatory Resources:
  
  • FCC Experimental STAs - SpaceX wiki
  • General Starlink FCC filing discussion - NASASpaceflight Forums
• Starlink Tracking/Viewing Resources:
  
  • Celestrak.com - u/TJKoury
  • Flight Club Pass Planner - u/theVehicleDestroyer
  • Heavens Above
  • n2yo.com
  • findstarlink - Pass Predictor and sat tracking - u/cmdr2
  • SatFlare
  • See A Satellite Tonight - Starlink - u/modeless
  • Starlink Constellation Animations - u/langgesagt
  • Starlink orbit raising daily updates - u/hitura-nobad
  • Supplemental TLE - Celestrak
  • Jonathan's Starlink page

Previous threads:

Thread #8 Thread #7 Thread #6 Thread #5 Thread #4 Thread #3 Thread #2 Thread #1

Thread updates:

This thread is updated and maintained by the community. You can make amendments via the Starlink wiki page
We will attempt to keep the above text regularly updated with resources and new mission information, but for the most part, updates will appear in the comments first. Feel free to ping us if additions or corrections are needed. Approximately 24 hours before liftoff of a Starlink, a launch thread will go live and the party will begin there.
This is not a party-thread Normal subreddit rules still apply.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

⎯

★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

⎯

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

⎯

★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

⎯

★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

⎯

★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

⎯

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

⎯

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

⎯

★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

Hello all,
A little while ago a person whom I have known for more than half my life and trust with information like this told me that over the course of my life, I have been (and in many respects still am) exhibiting some of the symptoms of the spectrum. Since then I’ve started college, and life has been rather busy in regards to having things to do, so I haven’t been able to put as much time and attention into exploring getting a diagnosis and seeing a professional as I wanted to. Now that things are settled I’m thinking about finally doing that, but before I did I wanted to present some of my symptoms to people familiar with it to see if that course of action makes sense. I am sorry if I am needlessly eating up your time, and thank you very much for reading.
Without further ado here are the main things I’ve noticed:
Overstimulation: This definitely happens a fair amount when there are loud noises, lots of people talking at once, big crowds, and occasionally lots of visuals and lights if they’re coming from many directions. I don’t often have break downs, but my head tends to get really clouded and my mood changes, and I have a lot of difficulty expressing or even knowing what I want or what I need in such moments.
Difficulty with Social Interactions: Small talk isn’t an easy thing for me. Over the years I’ve learned to be better at expressing interest in a conversation when the topic isn’t stimulating to me, but to this day I have trouble sustaining conversations or adding to them beyond basic level agreement if I don’t find the topic personally interesting. If I do find it interesting then I could talk for hours without interruption though (until my small social battery runs out). I frequently struggle to know what to say next in a conversation that doesn’t stimulate me. Traditional social queues like asking how someone is doing didn’t initially come naturally, and I’ve had to learn them from my friends pointing it out.
Hyperfixation: I have a few things that I’m very interested in. I’m very much a history geek and I love researching US Presidents. I am utterly trapped in the world of baseball. I will also pour over my favorite areas of Sci-Fi (particularly Doctor Who and Star Wars). I will also have stretches where I’m extremely interested in a random idea and can’t stop thinking about it until all of a sudden, seemingly overnight, it’s gone, replaced by something else.
Introvert: I enjoy hanging out with small groups or close family for extended periods, but as I said earlier crowds are a no. I also don’t usually initiate social gatherings. My first idea for a good time is reading, writing, or watching something by myself, and I always need extensive recharging time after a social gathering of any kind, otherwise I will be grouchy.
Hard to be Supportive: This one is particularly irritating. It’s really important to me that I be able to emotionally support my friends, but often when they open up to me I have difficulty knowing how to respond or what to say to support them. If they tell me, I can usually do it, but unprompted I struggle.
Difficulty Relating: I think it’s important to be empathetic, and I try my best to do so whenever possible, but even so, I am not often able to put myself in another person’s shoes or visualize exactly how they are thinking or what they are feeling.
Overthinking: I do this a lot, and often find myself fixating on a specific thing that’s bothering me to the point where it’s hard to enjoy other aspects of life when it’s on my mind, which can sometimes go on for a full day.
Thank you all in advance for reading and helping.

Welcome to Car Auto USA – Your Nationwide Solution for All Vehicle and Equipment Services

At Car Auto USA, we bring the warmth of small-town service to the grandeur of a national brand.
Where Every Vehicle Matters Whether you're a business managing a fleet of commercial vehicles or an individual seeking top-notch care for your personal ride, Car Auto USA is your go-to destination. Our nationwide presence ensures that wherever you are, exceptional service is just around the corner.
Our Services - Comprehensive, Reliable, Nationwide Commercial Vehicle and Equipment Services: We understand the critical role your vehicles play in your business operations. Our extensive range of services is designed to keep your fleet running smoothly and efficiently, minimizing downtime and maximizing productivity.
Private Vehicle Services: From routine maintenance to complex repairs, our expert technicians treat every car with the utmost care and precision. We believe in preventative maintenance to keep your vehicle in peak condition, ensuring your safety and satisfaction on the road.
Keeping the Small Town Feel Alive At Car Auto USA, we haven’t just expanded our reach; we’ve scaled our values. We pride ourselves on maintaining the personal touch and customer-centric approach of a neighborhood garage. Our team members are not just technicians and service providers; they are passionate car enthusiasts and problem solvers, dedicated to delivering personalized solutions.
Nationwide Reach, Local Touch No matter where you are, our national customer service team is ready to assist you. Have questions or need to schedule a service? Just give us a call at 828-707-9233. Experience the blend of nationwide expertise and small-town courtesy that only Car Auto USA can offer.
Join Our Community Stay connected with Car Auto USA. Follow us for updates, tips, and exclusive offers. Together, let's keep America moving, one vehicle at a time.
​ Car Auto USA – Driving Excellence Across the Nation
Your trust, our commitment.

Just need to vent, and I don't know anyone else personally that has been in a similar situation. I am not looking for advice... just some commiseration i guess... I am closing my business. It's in a niche industry, and has been going for 5yrs. I have grown my client base, and done some incredible things to push the boundaries in our industry, some things are historical. From the outside, it all looks rosy, and that we are an unstoppable force in our industry. Our business has a brilliant reputation in our industry, we have won many many awards for excellence. I would say I personally have a very good reputation in our industry as well. I am burned out. So so burned out. I never see my family. There have been discussions of divorce as I am not mentally present as I am always thinking of how to take the next step to build the business... have a hard time putting on the 'work' hat, then taking it off and putting on the 'family' hat. Many many tears.... I don't even think you could pay me a massive sum to continue. I have surely learned that running a business isn't for the faint of heart, and I possibly don't have what it takes.
As a business, it doesn't pay me much... but even if it did, I would likely still be in this position. My staff (in specialist roles) are paid well, and I ensure they don't have any worries when they work. They do a fantastic job. I won't come away with any great debt closing it, which is good... just a bit of a bruised ego that I am still wrestling with. I want to take more time with my family, and remove the stress that has been following me, particularly in the past 2 yrs. I am yet to tell my clients and staff... I am scared and anxious.... which is silly as this isn't a life or death matter! They will be sad, but they will find someone else to take their business to or work for.
LESSONS LEARNED
- Policies are great! Make sure you have them! Stick by them! People will love you for it if they fit your client base!
- Have a clear vision and values - make sure you live by them (this has been great for our growth thus far!) - I don't like conflict. A very small number of clients have caused a lot of stress due to this.
- I am a control freak... and have a hard time trusting the right staff to delegate to (probably why I am here burned out... but I need the right person to take the parts I do, and I don't have the funds to do this yet... it would likely come, but the timing isn't right) - I personally have struggled with taking work home - so I know this isn't for me any longer. Take this into consideration if this is your personality when starting a business. - I have learned so much more, marketing, accounting, sales funnels, web design, mentoring staff etc and I think this will be useful in the future after some time off to decompress.
As I said, I don't need advice... just someone to tell me I will be ok I guess, and maybe an internet hug, as I ride out the final few weeks and notify everyone of our closure. I have learned so much... and need to brush up on writing job applications after some time to decompress.

William’s cabin was filled with the sound of fevered panting as he slammed his hips over and over into Nendra’s own. Each time he did, the sound of flesh clapping against flesh resounded against the walls.
“Gods, big and small, what in the Pit’s name do they feed you noble boys,” the orcish sailor groaned from her supine position on the cabin’s bed, sweat-coated green skin glinting in the early morning light. “How do they make you so eager!?”
The boy in question just grinned as he held onto the larger woman’s oversized hips - using them as leverage.
They’d started this little rendezvous with her on top, obviously quite pleased at being invited into the cabin of a young man whose interests were clear.
That hadn’t lasted too long. What humans lacked in size relative to orcs, they more than made up for in stamina.
“Ah!” she gasped as he tweaked her nipples just a bit, the dark green nubs hardening under his careful ministrations.
They’d been at it for a while now. As evidenced by the rather large puddle that had formed amidst his sheets, one that he’d have to hide using magic.
Fortunately, he’d discreetly approached Nendra – as he’d learned her name was - at the end of her shift, when no one would be looking for her. Sure, that also meant she was a bleary eyed at the time, but such considerations had been as air in the wind before the possibility of bunking down with a – possibly – virginal human noble who was clearly out for a bit of a strange thrill with one of the ‘lower classes’.
…Or at least, that was what William assumed had been going through the orc’s head when she’d crossed the threshold into his cabin.
Truth be told, there hadn’t been all that much talking prior to… well… this.
“Ugh!” She gasped.
“Shhhh,” he in turn faux- whispered. “If you make too much noise, someone might discover you’re in here.”
Of course, he’d long since figured out that the possibility of being caught only added to the thrill for the sailor, as he felt her insides tighten around him.
Which in turn only fed into his own desires. While he’d hardly say he’d become anything like a sexual sadist, he’d admit that constantly being placed in the position of the ‘lesser sex’ meant there was a bit of a thrill in…
Well, dominating is a bit of a strong word for it, he thought.
…But he did enjoy taking charge. Especially when the person he was taking charge of was an incredibly sexy veteran sailor who could likely shatter his spine with one arm tied behind her back.
It had been a lot of fun, ‘turning the tables’ on her so to speak. The older woman had come into his cabin expecting to play the domineering seductress with an adventurous but otherwise naïve noble boy.
Instead…
“I- I can’t- I can’t. I’m- I’m going to cum.”
“Not yet,” he crooned, slowing the pace of his thrust – even as he increased the pressure of his ministrations to her sensitive and rock-hard nipples. “I’m not quite there yet. And we wouldn’t want you popping off without me. Again.”
Sure, he’d already cum twice, but it would take him a minute to work up to his third – one of the few benefits of being reborn into a younger and significantly more virile form. By contrast, Nedra had already cum six or seven times and clearly had no issue moving onto her eighth.
Alas, William could just about see the sun was about to rise through the cabin’s porthole and he’d need to wrap things up soon. Indeed, he could already hear feet rushing about the deck above them.
And if he wanted things to end with a ‘bang’ that meant he couldn’t let Nedra pop off before he was ready.
A state of readiness that admittedly got somewhat closer he heard the woman all but whimper as she tried to taper down her arousal to keep her orgasm at bay for just a few minutes longer.
In response, he slowly increased the tempo of his thrusts, getting ready to-
“William!?” The voice, accompanied by the loud pounding at the door almost made him jump out of his skin. “Wake up! We need to move.”
The two lovers stared at each other in surprise before both leapt into action with a curse. Rushing over to grab his pants, William watched as Nendra scooped up her shirt with surprising grace even as she ducked behind the bed.
All the while his aunt continued pounding on the door.
“William!? Will!?”
“Coming!” he shouted at the wooden portal as he pulled on the pants, before hopping over to grab the latch.
Opening it just a crack, he peered out into the gloom of the ship’s hallway.
“What?” he asked his slightly disheveled looking aunt.
“We have a problem,” she answered shortly.
His eyes roamed down to the item in her off hand. “I can see that.”
He sincerely doubted his aunt would have her bolt-bow cocked and out for any other reason, the vaguely crossbow shaped weapon gleaming menacingly as she stood in the doorway.
“This isn’t the time for jokes. A kraken, just latched onto the ship.” She stepped aside as a crew-woman rushed past. “Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t feel it.”
…Ah, so that was what that jolt had been. Honestly, he’d wondered about it, but had ultimately put it down to the enthusiasm of his partner rather than something brushing up against the ship.
Though now that he listened… yeah, he could hear both the yelling from above and the sound of something creaking.
“Well… shit,” he muttered – before slamming the door shut.
The response from his guardian was instant. “William, what the fuck!?”
Mentally apologizing even as he ignored his nearby shirt in favour of grabbing his pack off the nightstand. Sure, when he appeared on deck, it’d be a little scandalous, but the crew would probably be too busy to notice a shirtless man dashing about the place.
Probably.
And I don’t have an easy way of replacing any of this if it gets dragged to the bottom of the ocean by an oversized magical squid, he thought as he turned to Nedra.
The woman had gotten dressed in record time, which he supposed made sense given her vocation. More to the point, there was not a hint of lust in her gaze as she regarded him, despite his state of undress.
She was in full focus mode now.
“That’s the all-hands bell,” she hissed just over the sound of his aunt’s yelling.
“I know,” he nodded. “There’s a kraken. My aunt’s just outside though, so wait for us to leave then head to your station.”
The sailor nodded, before moving just to the side of the door and out of his aunt’s sightline as he once more opened the door.
“Will.” The marine-knight grunted, visibly furious. “What the fuck!?”
“Just had to grab a few things,” he muttered as he stepped out into the hall.
Fortunately, Karla was professional enough to realize that a tongue lashing would have to wait. Though William was entirely sure it would come eventually.
Provided we survive the next ten minutes, he thought as the shouts from overhead redoubled in noise as something wooden audibly shattered, making the entire ship rock.
“Fine,” his aunt grunted as she started to steer him by the crook of his elbow down the hall and around the occasional passing crew-woman. “We need to go.”
Even as William obliged, his thoughts were going a mile a minute. Mostly he was thinking about how shit his luck was.
Kraken attacks were rare. Very rare. The massive creatures weren’t usually too interested in ships, given that the crew’s invariably served as a poor source of food for an animal whose preferred prey was whales.
That was why it was assumed that when attacks did happen, it was a case of mistaken identity – or a female getting territorial during mating season.
He clambered onto the deck, blearily blinking the rising sun from his eyes, and watched a tentacle thick as his torso tentacle latch onto the deck, wrapping around the mast.
Just from a glance he knew this wasn’t a case of mistaken identity. The bright red spots running down the back of the oversized limb was proof of that. A sure-fire sign that a female was ready to lay eggs and was in the throes of heat.
And thus, very territorial.
“Get off my ship!” The captain’s voice cried from the ship’s raised quarter-deck as more and more tentacles slithered up to grip at the handrails of the vessel.
William watched with muted dismay as the woman actually hurled a fireball from her outstretched hand, a massive ball of flames lancing across the deck to strike the nearest tentacle.
With next to no effect.
The blow barely even seemed to register to the beast. Nor did the second. Or the third.
And now she’s probably spent, given the size of the contracts she just expended, William thought glumly as he watched the elven woman seem to sway in place.
“Idiot,” his aunt hissed, likely coming to the same conclusion. “She should know better than anyone that Kraken scales are magic resistant.”
Aside from their size, that was likely the second most famous thing about the giant squid creatures, and a large part of why many coastal houses lined their airships’ hulls with their hide.
Perhaps it was desperation more than stupidity? He thought idly as he watched another bit of handrail shatter, before being dragged down into the water.
Fortunately, that fate hadn’t befallen any of the crew. Yet. For while the creature’s tentacles seemed possessed of an almost malign intelligence as they quested about the deck, latching onto things at will, the fact of the matter was that the squid below was basically just flailing blindly at what it perceived to be a rival creature of some kind.
Unfortunately, blind flailing or not, it was still entirely capable of dragging the entire ship down once its clawed beak poked enough holes in the bottom of the hull.
“We need to get to the lifeboats.” Karla grabbed his arm, pulling him in the direction of one such item.
William’s focus though was on the crew. As he watched, the mixture of humans and orcs desperately hacked and stabbed at the limbs invading their ship, using whatever means they had available. Some had axes, others had harpoons, and some poor souls had been reduced to trying to sink their daggers into the tough slippery flesh of the great beast.
The young man didn’t even bother to ask if his aunt’s boltbow would have any effect. An aether-propelled crossbow bolt might have been plenty deadly against a person, but they’d be little more than a splinter to a Kraken.
With that in mind, he knew the smart thing was to do exactly what his aunt was planning on doing; getting the hell off the ship.
Given the size of the attacking squid, a small transport ship like the Fair Gentleman was practically defenseless.
Once it had been sunk, hopefully the beast would lose interest, mistaking the lifeboats for little more than debris.
That was what usually happened.
Lindholm lost a ship or two every other year to krakens, and the unfortunate losses of goods and lives were simply considered the cost of doing business in the Azure Sea. A sentiment he was feeling a lot less sanguine about now that he was actually aboard one of those ‘unfortunate losses’.
“You there!” His aunt grabbed a nearby crew-woman. “Start getting this boat in the water.”
The sailor in question looked panicked for a moment, the human woman’s eyes darting between the marine-knight and whatever duty she’d been attending to. Eventually though, feudal conditioning won out and she moved to help his aunt. Soon enough the pair were fiddling with the pulley system that would lower the lifeboat over the side and into the water.
William actually moved to help himself… before pausing.
A wet thud from nearby drew his gaze, and as he turned, he found his gaze landing on a ‘new front’ that had opened up in the nearby battle. Across the deck from him, an orc woman with a tattoo around her throat desperately stabbed at a tentacle that had just wrapped around another one of the lifeboats.
Her efforts were for naught though. Even as he watched, the pulleys holding the thing in place snapped, and the boat was dragged overboard, shattering into little more than kindling in the process, before the splintered remnants were dragged down into the water below.
…Taking with it roughly one quarter of the ship’s lifeboat capacity. Only three of the craft now remained.
Which meant that at least one quarter of the crew would now no longer be able to evacuate given the total absence of redundancy that he could see.
Turning to his aunt, he had to pitch his voice to be heard over the carnage around him. “Has the captain contacted the Indomitable? We’re only a day out from Ashfield County.”
The loss of the lifeboat wouldn’t be so bad if rescue was on the way. The kraken would lose interest in the ship once she dragged it under, and the crew would be able to hotseat the lifeboats – or use pieces of wreckage as floatation devices while they waited for help.
Help that would only take a few hours if an airship was on the way.
“The captain doesn’t have an orb,” the human sailor answered before his aunt could. “We used to… but she sold it last year. Said we didn’t need it given how quiet the route was.”
Karla cursed, sending him a pitying look even as she continued to turn the lever for the pulleys. “There’s your answer kiddo. Unless some other ship stumbles across us. And they have an orb. And they manage to avoid pissing off this kraken when they arrive - then we’re on our own.”
Meaning they’d have to row for the coast.
Which was doable, he thought as he gauged the distance. Swimming that far won’t be though.
No, unless something happened to scare off the Kraken, a lot of people were going to drown today.
And with that thought, the weight of the pots in his rucksack seemed to grow incredibly heavy. Not that they’d ever been light. Both physically and metaphorically.
The contents they contained were capable of upsetting the balance of power across the planet after all. They represented an avenue of technological development that hadn’t even been broached in this world.
That power was one he’d intended to harness for the greater good of the entire planet.
Just not here. And not now, he thought frantically.
Secrecy was his first and best defence after all, and it was a protection that he’d only ever intended to shed once he reached the academy. And even then only in part, to build some notoriety, with a fair amount of subterfuge thrown in to obfuscate the ‘how’.
What were a few random crew-members on a ramshackle transport ship compared to that?
A shriek rang out, from his side and he watched with wide eyes as the crew-woman that had been helping them was lifted aloft by another tentacle. She shrieked wildly, even as Karla unlimbered her bolt-bow and futilely fired at the attacking limb.
A bolt exploded from the weapon in a burst of blue-green smoke, flying through the air to dig deep into the flesh of the kraken’s oversized limb.
It was a futile gesture, one William doubted the creature even noticed as the tentacle wrapped tighter and tighter around its struggling prey.
And for just a moment, William got to see the look on the sailor’s terrified face before a mass of scaly fish meat covered even that.
And just like that, his resolve broke – with all the ease of a strand of spaghetti placed into an industrial press.
“Fuck it, I guess I’m doing this,” he grunted as he dashed over to his still distracted aunt.
She had something he needed – and he didn’t have the time to explain why he needed it.
Not if he was going to save everyone here.
“Wha- William!?” Karla grunted in confusion, weapon lowering for just a moment as she turned towards him.
In his mind, he winced apologetically even as he forced his face to contort into an expression of surprise. “No, behind you!”
Her eyes had just a moment to widen, as she turned back in an attempt to find the threat - before he slammed his palm into her midriff.
“Electricity,” he whispered under his breath with a speed that could only come from long hours of practice. “One charge. Touch activation. Right hand. Knockout.”
Some mages preferred to be more flowery when it came to the activation of their contracts, adding in entire verses of specificity in the name of getting as much power as they could in return for their investment.
William was not one of them.
And fortunately for him, neither was his patron.
He’d barely finished the final syllable of his activation phrase before his hands were crackling with electrical energy from beyond the dimensional gap.
Energy that flowed almost immediately into his aunt.
The marine-knight twitched, before dropping like a rock as a few thousand carefully moderated volts of lightning shot through her nervous system.
Fortunately, he caught her before her head could slam into the hard wood panels of the deck.
The same could not be said for the bolt-bow she was carrying, but he wasn’t too worried about that. The things were usually built tough and she’d fired the entire magazine before he made his move.
Careful not to unduly jostle her, he gently – if quickly – bundled the unconscious woman into the lifeboat she’d just been standing over.
“Right, you should be safe-ish here,” he muttered quietly. “And I really am sorry about this. Genuinely. I just… didn’t have time to explain.”
That, and she probably wouldn’t have listened to him even if he had, given that he’d spent the last few years cementing his reputation as a reckless screw up.
Still apologizing in his mind, he flipped through the woman’s belt until he found a fresh magazine for the bolt-bow. A weapon that he needed to leap to grab, as it attempted to slide overboard as the deck suddenly shifted violently in response to some movement by the beast below.
Cursing, he flicked the empty magazine off of the weapon before inserting the fresh one into the top.
Satisfied, he slung it across his shoulder by the strap, before he hurriedly reached into the rucksack on his other shoulder to fish out one of the leather satchels within. Something that only took him two attempts, after he discarded both a thermos and a leatherbound journal.
Though he had to duck as the crewmember from before swished by overhead, still gripped in the inhuman coils of an oversized tentacle.
Which served as a decent reminder of the fact that said human woman would likely be dragged down into the water – or summarily squished – any second now.
Because nothing mixes quite like being hurried and high explosives, the young man thought sarcastically as he yanked open the cap of leather satchel with his teeth, before spitting the bit of cork off to the side.
A feat he repeated two more times with similar bags, holding each awkwardly between his fingers as he did.
“Ice-Cubes. One charge. Instant Activation. Water source: Objects in right hand - contents.” He grunted hurriedly.
He felt it that time. Like a muscle unclenching in his very soul, the second of two of his aether charges was sucked into the fae-realms with the unsettling sound of a small giggle.
Though he wasted not a moment dwelling on it, ignoring the momentary sense of apathy that washed over him with long practice.
Instead, he refocused his mind on the task as hand as the contract took effect.
One left, he thought as vapor seemed to flow out from the bags, turning the black powder within from damp powder to something altogether much more dangerous.
He ignored the way three relatively tiny ice-cubes fell to the floor a moment later as the released vapor spontaneously collected together before freezing.
Instead, he speared all three bags onto the tip of the bolt sticking out the end of his now reloaded bolt-bow.
“Candle. One charge. Delayed Activation: Ten seconds. Ignition Source: Objects in right hand – contents.”
The muscle unclenched one final time before going slack, and William had to struggle not to sway as a wave of both apathy and lethargy washed over him.
Fortunately, it was fleeting, he raised his weapon in the direction of the nearest tentacle. Which happened to be the one holding the human sailor.
Tracing the point of the weapon down, he very deliberately pointed it as far away from the woman as he could without letting the intended impact point be too close to the water.
He hoped.
Just as he hoped his aim wasn’t off, because if it was, a whole lot of nothing was about to happen and they were all fucked.
The swaying of the deck didn’t help. Nor did the fact that the tentacle was hardly staying still. And finally, he knew there was the fact that he’d need to account for the extra drag provided by three bags full of powder dangling off the end of his bolt.
Oh, and he only had eight more seconds to line up his shot.
…He held his breath.
Seven.
His fingers tightened around the grip of the bolt-bow, the pressure within its firing chamber building as he channeled wild aether through the intake valve pressed against his thumb.
Six.
A move that was far from comfortable after expending the entirety of his refined aether-reserves prepping this shot, but still perfectly doable.
Five.
It was just like flexing a cramping muscle was all. Only, said muscle was in his soul.
Four.
Off to his right, someone screamed. The deck tilted. Somewhere a rope snapped.
Three.
Gently, he pulled back on the trigger.
Don’t squeeze it, a voice in his mind supplied. Keep it a single smooth motion. When it fires, it should honestly take you off guard.
And it did. An eruption of blue-green gas that exploded from the front of the bolt-bow, propelling the bolt itself through the air.
Two.
…And deep into the thick scaly flesh of the Kraken.
“One,” he muttered with cool satisfaction.
As explosions went, it was pretty underwhelming. A bag full of loose powder was hardly anything at the end of the day. Little more than a firework with less pyrotechnics.
With that said, it was still an explosion.
And as William heard the low hiss and pop, he watched as the tentacle he’d been aiming at practically disintegrated at the base.
The response was instantaneous, a low shriek that echoed across the ocean and vibrated in his very chest as the top half of the now severed limb fell to the deck – the crew woman in its coils slightly dazed and sore, but still struggling to untangle herself from the now limp bit of squid.
Truth be told the loss of a limb was hardly too serious an injury for a kraken. Much like squid and octopi, they were perfectly capable of regrowing tentacles.
With that said, he watched as across the ship the great limbs of the beast retreated back, sliding down into the water once more with eerie synchronicity.
After all, just because the animal could recover from the blow didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. And if the ‘rival kraken’ had hurt it once, the oversized squid likely feared it could be hurt again.
With that in mind, a small clash over territory was hardly worth the possibility of maiming or death.
Not when she’d yet to lay her eggs.
With that in mind, William watched from over the side of the ship as the water below swelled with the great beast’s movements as it swam away from the Fair Gentleman with all haste its remaining seven limbs could summon.
The entire crew watched with muted unease as the creature continued to circle for half a minute, before finally diving. In seconds, the great beast had disappeared once more beneath the waves.
And William finally allowed himself a small sigh of relief.
I’ve no idea what I’d have done if she came back for round two, he thought.
Reaching for the bolt-bow, he was just in the process of removing the live bolt and magazine when he nearly leapt out of his skin as a great cheer rang out from the crew behind him.
“Three cheers for the Kraken Slayer!” The distinctive voice of Nemoa rang out from the quarterdeck. “The man whose magic trumped a sea-beasts scales!”
William turned, panic in his eyes, to see with horror that the entire crew was staring at him as they continued to cheer loudly, waving their bloody weapons high into the air. Even the woman who’d just untangled herself from the tentacles was beaming at him.
He didn’t know how much they’d seen, but he did know at least a few of them had seen his final attack on the beast.
Though hopefully, they’d only turned to look in his direction after the explosion rang out.
Well shit, he thought as a crowd of excitable sailors rushed over to him. There goes my plan to say my aunt passed out after summoning a giant lightning bolt.
Which of course, as if summoned by his thoughts, just so happened to be the moment the woman in question blearily peered out from over the side of the life-boat he’d stashed her in.
Trying not to wince even as he deliberately turned to her instead of the crowd of excitable sailors rushing in, he tried to sound commiserating.
“Hey Aunt Karla, how’s the head? Because that bit of debris came out of nowhere.”
…He really hoped he sounded convincing, because if he fucked up this first lie, the next seventy would need to become a lot more complicated.
A lot more complicated, he thought as he met the woman’s confused expression with the most innocent expression of happy relief he could possibly muster just as the crowd surged in around them.
Previous / First / Next
Another three chapters are also available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake
We also have a (surprisingly) active Discord where and I and a few other authors like to hang out: https://discord.gg/RctHFucHaq

Yesterday, my partner picked me up from work and brought our dog with her (a common occurrence), and on the way home we decided to stop past the supermarket to grab some more milk and bread. As it was a mild temperature day and we would only be a couple of minutes, we figured the dog would be okay in the car on her own, but before turning the car off I wound down all 4 windows as far as the rain guards, to make sure that our dog would have some fresh air but also wouldn’t be easily stolen, nor would our car (due to the rain guards blocking easy access to the open windows, and also obscuring them being partially down), and also the car wouldn’t get wet if it started raining thanks to the rain guards over the open sections of the windows. Yay rain guards.
We were in the supermarket about 5 mins tops, got a small bag of groceries so it was clear to anyone we’d just been on a very quick shop. Come back to the car and an early 20s looking chap (who I’d noticed sitting on a bench just outside the supermarket as I exited) comes over and knocks on my window. I open the door and he says quite loudly, “Are you aware it’s a criminal offence in NZ to leave a dog in a car with no windows down? I replied “Mate, they’re all open”, turned around and stuck my hand through the open window next to my dog and out past the rain guard to prove that they were, in fact, down. He started walking off and darkly said “Well not enough”. To which I admit I childishly retorted “Mind your own bloody business”.
I didn’t like being accused of mistreating my dog, when I didn’t feel like it was justified at all. I know he was looking out for the best interest of a potentially trapped animal, but my dog was showing no signs of stress, and I felt the way he approached the situation was aggressive and rude, because I had in fact looked out for the welfare of my dog, and he was mistaken, which he never admitted.
Then today, my partner gets a call from the SPCA, saying this chap had taken a photo of our car and dobbed us in, and we are liable for a fine. After explaining to them that it was a misunderstanding, they said you can’t leave a dog in a car without active ventilation or windows FULLY down for any length of time. Fair enough, but what about 2 mins into a dairy? 30 seconds when you get home and go around the car to get them out? It’s stupid. They said they will let us off with a warning this time but if we get caught again it’ll be a fine. I’m fuming. This is ridiculous, we’re responsible dog owners! We’d never leave her in the car for any serious length of time, it’d be cruel! We’re aware of how hot cars get, they’re basically a glasshouse. But this is ridiculous, and now we feel like terrible people who are on some list of bad dog owners at the SPCA.
Do we deserve to feel that way? Are we the assholes?
Edit: Also, are we allowing vigilantes to dob people in and have the SPCA hand out fines now, with no real proof other than a photo which in no way explains the whole situation? Where’s the requirement for sufficient evidence or right to defend ourselves? I don’t consider that a fair trial.

There was a polite knock on the door to the Oval Office before Chief of Staff David Russom let himself in. “Madam President."
“David, good to see you,” Carmen Parnell said with a small smile, standing from her seat behind her desk. He smiled back as they each walked over to the couches sitting opposite each other in the middle of the room. “I heard the first contact summary from Harken. But he said to speak to you.”
“Indeed.” David unbuttoned his suit jacket before taking a seat across from her. “We spotted a billboard.”
Carmen’s expression tightened. That term had become shorthand for noticing something they were approaching that was of importance. “I’m not sure how I feel about the look on your face. They’re post-scarcity. Reached FTL on their own. And I’m under the impression some of their chefs are going to be in great demand.” David smirked briefly at that. “Overall, I heard it went very well. So, what are we talking about here?”
“Well, we owe the fact that we caught it on our first trip to one diplomat’s daughter, actually. It’s something that went under the radar because no one could see it. Literally.” Carmen crossed her ankles and leaned back, bemused. “Dawn Hernandez was interacting with the other diplomat’s two children,” he began, “and asked that oh-so-common question, ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’ Dawn had been explaining her love for science and animals.”
Carmen was already nodding. “I met Dawn. Sweet girl, seems smart.”
“She is. Both of the other children, I’m not sure of their genders, gave their respective answers. One said a sport, though I don’t know the name. Dawn described it as something akin to basketball. The other described a disaster response job. Both reasonable and, for the latter, honorable goals. But this came after they’d been chatting, and Dawn was surprised that the one who planned to pursue sports wasn’t interested in being a scientist. He…laughed, or whatever the equivalent is, and said that’s not something he’d be good at.”
“Good at?” the president repeated. “Sounds like me. I call myself a science nerd, but that’s because I love it, not because I’m good at it.”
“I’m quite aware, Madam President,” David replied, smothering a smile. Carmen didn’t bother to smother hers. They’d known each other long enough to be aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. His expression grew grim and unconsciously, her face mirrored it. “Post-scarcity species usually don’t cause much concern, but in a strange sort of way, I think they reached it too early.”
“Interesting way to put it. Continue.”
He took a breath. “You know they still have a caste system. We received information about that.”
“Yes, that is unfortunate,” she sighed. “But it seemed to be more of a…an organizational system than anything.”
David grimaced. “It’s not. Madam President…they’re racially segregated.”
Carmen stared at him for a long moment. “They…” She blinked. “You said we literally couldn’t see it.”
He pursed his lips and nodded once. “UV. Their vision extends into ultraviolet.”
“And we’re sure that there’s a strict divide?”
“When Dawn realized what the other children were saying, she also realized what it meant,” David said tiredly. “She’s fourteen, too clever to say anything that would jeopardize her father’s work on-planet, but she texted him. Told him to turn on the UV filters in his glasses. He did so for the remainder of the trip, and things became clear. There is no mistreatment. No servitude. Nothing horrible or obvious.”
“But…”
“But. Those that don’t fluoresce do jobs that require strength. They earn less. Those who fluoresce do jobs that require intellect. They earn more. If a job is somewhere in the middle or if it isn’t a factor, the results can be more mixed, but only up to a point. The top dogs are always going to be one of ‘the smartest’, after all. And we were told schooling was much like ours, though they have grades one through ten, reaching grade five is mandatory, and then college, but we looked up specifics. They don’t list caste because they don’t need to, everyone is already divided and their lives play out as expected, but the data is there. The lower caste rarely passes grade five. Hardly ever grade seven.”
The president shook her head slowly. “When Mr. Hernandez was on his trip, the diplomats, politicians, scientists-”
“Once he turned on his filters, there was not one person in the species who defied the…” David hesitated. “Tradition. That’s not quite how the children put it, though. They are better at these things, they explained. They’re stronger. How could the others be strong enough to play sports?” he asked, his voice taking on a tone of comical logic. “They’re surely much better at figuring out the best way to play!”
Carmen let out a long breath and fell silent for a few moments. “So, they reached the point of black people being ‘naturally talented’ athletes at basketball and football, and then stagnated in social progress because they were post-scarcity?”
David smirked. “Well put. As far as we can see, that’s the gist of it.”
“Alright. So, were we able to get all of their history? Is the assumption that the lower caste doesn’t want to rock the boat?”
“Essentially, yes,” David replied. “A rising tide did lift all boats on their planet over the past hundred years, and the tide never retreated. No one goes hungry or remains sick or unhoused because of their caste position. Everyone can live a happy, healthy life.”
“Just not the one they might want.”
“Exactly.”
“In theory, or in practice?”
David gave her a knowing look. He paused a moment, gathering his thoughts. “I have no outright examples of what we might guess or expect,” he said slowly, “but from what I’ve learned so far? Intellect is more valued, and no sapient species can simply avoid acting on biases. I drew my own conclusions.”
“And mine are the same,” she murmured. Carmen rubbed her chin and fell silent, leaning back. David watched her eyes, knowing the look on her face, having seen it many times before. He remained quiet, allowing her brain to churn. Finally, she met his gaze again. “How big do you think this billboard is?”
With a grimace, David didn’t reply.
“That’s what I thought. After cultural exchange, books, movies, mere discussions between colleagues, the boat will rock. How violent it will be, we can’t know for sure, but direct parallels will be drawn to skin color on Earth. They’ll have an Upheaval.”
“That’s what Hernandez believes. Both of his assistants had a conversation on the topic before they returned, and they agreed. I assumed you’d reach the same conclusion.”
“Damn.” Carmen shook her head. “All right. Have Hernandez delegate and coordinate with Cultural. We’ve got…three months before we reach general GalNet exchange levels…five months before research from the lower caste in earnest… Everything Cultural learns will impact our estimations to what comes after.”
“I want a plan for action parallel to their progress, including speculation on their Upheaval, on my desk in four weeks,” she told David, meeting his gaze. “Once we reach that point, we’ll prepare a committee and appoint advisors and mediators. I want the Joint Chiefs to prepare a brief for me on their on-world military capabilities. We’ll need to review procedures on protest suppression from military down to local police, so we’ll bring in consultants. I still want to proceed with an embassy installation, we go in as if we’re expecting nothing, but establish airtight evac protocols and restrict visitation. Hernandez will help sort that out. No children, of course.”
“Dawn will be disappointed,” David remarked.
“Dawn will be busy. They all will.” Her gaze grew steely. “Our kids won’t be there in person, but they’ll be there on GalNet until that planet cuts access. Then it’ll be too late.”
***
Patreon
Amazon Author Page
/storiesbykaren

Halfway through Thanksgiving, our friend tells us she has a “small cold.” Next day, you guessed it — oops Covid.
On Saturday our 7yo gets a high fever, aches, followed by a super runny nose on Sunday. Tests negative. Fully better by Monday. Tests negative the whole time.
On Monday, my 10yo and husband wake up with sore throat, aches, pains. Both test positive.
On Tuesday night, I start getting a throat tickle. Test negative.
On Wednesday, I wake up fully sick. Aches, fever, pain, sinus pressure, just awful. Test negative.
On Thursday, I’m still sick but fever pains are gone. Take a PCR test, it comes back negative the next day.
On Friday, I’m still sick but over the hump. Take a home test - negative.
On Monday (today), 7yo wake up with a sore throat. He tests positive. I have an insane tickle cough. Can’t stop coughing. I test positive.
So I’m very confused. Did I have Covid this whole time and it’s just now showing up? Or is my Covid journey just starting? What’s tricky is my 7yo. He seems to have caught two separate things and is just starting his Covid journey. I thought I had what he had bc I was testing negative but maybe not.

There was a polite knock on the door to the Oval Office before Chief of Staff David Russom let himself in. “Madam President.”
“David, good to see you,” Carmen Parnell said with a small smile, standing from her seat behind her desk. He smiled back as they each walked over to the couches sitting opposite each other in the middle of the room. “I heard the first contact summary from Harken. But he said to speak to you.”
“Indeed.” David unbuttoned his suit jacket before taking a seat across from her. “We spotted a billboard.”
Carmen’s expression tightened. That term had become shorthand for noticing something they were approaching that was of importance. “I’m not sure how I feel about the look on your face. They’re post-scarcity. Reached FTL on their own. And I’m under the impression some of their chefs are going to be in great demand.” David smirked briefly at that. “Overall, I heard it went very well. So, what are we talking about here?”
“Well, we owe the fact that we caught it on our first trip to one diplomat’s daughter, actually. It’s something that went under the radar because no one could see it. Literally.” Carmen crossed her ankles and leaned back, bemused. “Dawn Hernandez was interacting with the other diplomat’s two children,” he began, “and asked that oh-so-common question, ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’ Dawn had been explaining her love for science and animals.”
Carmen was already nodding. “I met Dawn. Sweet girl, seems smart.”
“She is. Both of the other children, I’m not sure of their genders, gave their respective answers. One said a sport, though I don’t know the name. Dawn described it as something akin to basketball. The other described a disaster response job. Both reasonable and, for the latter, honorable goals. But this came after they’d been chatting, and Dawn was surprised that the one who planned to pursue sports wasn’t interested in being a scientist. He…laughed, or whatever the equivalent is, and said that’s not something he’d be good at.”
“Good at?” the president repeated. “Sounds like me. I call myself a science nerd, but that’s because I love it, not because I’m good at it.”
“I’m quite aware, Madam President,” David replied, smothering a smile. Carmen didn’t bother to smother hers. They’d known each other long enough to be aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. His expression grew grim and unconsciously, her face mirrored it. “Post-scarcity species usually don’t cause much concern, but in a strange sort of way, I think they reached it too early.”
“Interesting way to put it. Continue.”
He took a breath. “You know they still have a caste system. We received information about that.”
“Yes, that is unfortunate,” she sighed. “But it seemed to be more of a…an organizational system than anything.”
David grimaced. “It’s not. Madam President…they’re racially segregated.”
Carmen stared at him for a long moment. “They…” She blinked. “You said we literally couldn’t see it.”
He pursed his lips and nodded once. “UV. Their vision extends into ultraviolet.”
“And we’re sure that there’s a strict divide?”
“When Dawn realized what the other children were saying, she also realized what it meant,” David said tiredly. “She’s fourteen, too clever to say anything that would jeopardize her father’s work on-planet, but she texted him. Told him to turn on the UV filters in his glasses. He did so for the remainder of the trip, and things became clear. There is no mistreatment. No servitude. Nothing horrible or obvious.”
“But…”
“But. Those that don’t fluoresce do jobs that require strength. They earn less. Those who fluoresce do jobs that require intellect. They earn more. If a job is somewhere in the middle or if it isn’t a factor, the results can be more mixed, but only up to a point. The top dogs are always going to be one of ‘the smartest’, after all. And we were told schooling was much like ours, though they have grades one through ten, reaching grade five is mandatory, and then college, but we looked up specifics. They don’t list caste because they don’t need to, everyone is already divided and their lives play out as expected, but the data is there. The lower caste rarely passes grade five. Hardly ever grade seven.”
The president shook her head slowly. “When Mr. Hernandez was on his trip, the diplomats, politicians, scientists-”
“Once he turned on his filters, there was not one person in the species who defied the…” David hesitated. “Tradition. That’s not quite how the children put it, though. They are better at these things, they explained. They’re stronger. How could the others be strong enough to play sports?” he asked, his voice taking on a tone of comical logic. “They’re surely much better at figuring out the best way to play!”
Carmen let out a long breath and fell silent for a few moments. “So, they reached the point of black people being ‘naturally talented’ athletes at basketball and football, and then stagnated in social progress because they were post-scarcity?”
David smirked. “Well put. As far as we can see, that’s the gist of it.”
“Alright. So, were we able to get all of their history? Is the assumption that the lower caste doesn’t want to rock the boat?”
“Essentially, yes,” David replied. “A rising tide did lift all boats on their planet over the past hundred years, and the tide never retreated. No one goes hungry or remains sick or unhoused because of their caste position. Everyone can live a happy, healthy life.”
“Just not the one they might want.”
“Exactly.”
“In theory, or in practice?”
David gave her a knowing look. He paused a moment, gathering his thoughts. “I have no outright examples of what we might guess or expect,” he said slowly, “but from what I’ve learned so far? Intellect is more valued, and no sapient species can simply avoid acting on biases. I drew my own conclusions.”
“And mine are the same,” she murmured. Carmen rubbed her chin and fell silent, leaning back. David watched her eyes, knowing the look on her face, having seen it many times before. He remained quiet, allowing her brain to churn. Finally, she met his gaze again. “How big do you think this billboard is?”
With a grimace, David didn’t reply.
“That’s what I thought. After cultural exchange, books, movies, mere discussions between colleagues, the boat will rock. How violent it will be, we can’t know for sure, but direct parallels will be drawn to skin color on Earth. They’ll have an Upheaval.”
“That’s what Hernandez believes. Both of his assistants had a conversation on the topic before they returned, and they agreed. I assumed you’d reach the same conclusion.”
“Damn.” Carmen shook her head. “All right. Have Hernandez delegate and coordinate with Cultural. We’ve got…three months before we reach general GalNet exchange levels…five months before research from the lower caste in earnest… Everything Cultural learns will impact our estimations to what comes after.”
“I want a plan for action parallel to their progress, including speculation on their Upheaval, on my desk in four weeks,” she told David, meeting his gaze. “Once we reach that point, we’ll prepare a committee and appoint advisors and mediators. I want the Joint Chiefs to prepare a brief for me on their on-world military capabilities. We’ll need to review procedures on protest suppression from military down to local police, so we’ll bring in consultants. I still want to proceed with an embassy installation, we go in as if we’re expecting nothing, but establish airtight evac protocols and restrict visitation. Hernandez will help sort that out. No children, of course.”
“Dawn will be disappointed,” David remarked.
“Dawn will be busy. They all will.” Her gaze grew steely. “Our kids won’t be there in person, but they’ll be there on GalNet until that planet cuts access. Then it’ll be too late.”

I've been using Scotiabank visa card for years, and now my info has been stolen twice in 3 months. I shop from the same vendors and pay through PayPal on small businesses online. I tap in stores and rarely use pin (as far as I'm aware just tap is safer) Is anyone else experiencing the same this year, was there a breach somewhere since September that would be causing this? I'm worried about a third card coming in and having my info compromised yet again, are there any problems I would be facing if that were to happen? Any advice would be appreciated!

demographics: white male, new jersey, first-gen college student, first gen american, albanian, parents immigrated with no college. income is 160-180k. Intended Major: Biology (Pre-Med Track) SAT: 1300 (680R, 620M), taking it again Oct.7, hoping for a 1400+ UW GPA: 3.99 (only 1 A- for a 1.25 credit class freshman year) rest is As and above W: 4.52/4.8 (comes out to 4.7/5?) Coursework: I maxed out on honors and APs for freshman year, and sophomore year (except i took APUSH (got a 4)) Junior Year: Honors Pre-Calc (highest available), AP Comp Sci (class turned into P/F - teacher was fired..lol), AP Pysch (1), AP Euro (2), Ap Chem (3), Ap Lit (4), Duel-enrollment pysch class at local community college (got credits with an A on the trasncript to compensate for AP Pysch - 3 creds) Senior Year: AP calc ab, ap bio, ap lang, ap physics 1 My AP scores are pretty garbage lol Outside of APs, most of my classes are either honors or STEM-focused Awards: National Honor Society, AP scholar, principal's list (3x), Certificate of Completion from a summer program at Columbia, and Certificate of Completion from a cardiology program class from UCI Extracurriculars: (I've done all of these from 10th-12th) - Research internship at Weill-Cornell Medicine - worked in a neuroscience lab for 8 weeks (unpaid :(), but i worked with mice and a lab team. it was really fun and I think I'm getting a LOR from the lab's prof - high school Pre-Med Club Leader (4 years straight, we hold weekly meetings of like 40 kids just discussing medicine and its specialties, and whatever you imagine) - Student Council President (11th), VP (12th) - we made $12000 in 1 year (crazy), and up to date have generated about 11k in pure profits across the last two years. - NHS President - yes, NHS is overused, but we are starting a initiative to tutor elementary kids in our pretty large school district, so i think its impactful enough (or will be during RD) to put on the list. -mentorship program at the American College of Cardiology - spent the last year just attending virtual meets, learning abt medicine with a cardiology resident at Yale Med, and developing an article review to be submmited at the ACC. (not high impact, but its been a almost a year so i think its good enough) -New York Academy of Sciences Junior Academy - working with a team of 6 students across the world to work on a challenge involving AI and medicine (started this like beginning of this month lol) -volunteering (like 80-100 hours in total, about 55 from Red Cross, about 30 maybe from NHS, and then like 15-20 from being a bio/chem tutor) -Student Representative for my school district's board of education - i represent my high school, like 800 kids and 15 clubs, talk about their needs and advocate for them (also started in sept) - Robotics Research Intern at NJIT - just started working with a skitterbot project at NJIT, under a lab prof (i just started abt 3 weeks ago, but i think its still going on the list as i dont have much more) as u can see alot of my ecs are weaker, and very recent Schools: -NYU (already applied ED 1 - finding out next Friday!!!) - Boston U -Northeastern (co-op sounds very appealing, ED option 2) -Boston College (definitely RD) - Tufts (mainly because of fee waiver) -Hunter College in NYC (literally like a block away from Weill-Cornell, so opportunities r there) -UMich -Possibly NYU -Umass Amherst - Rutgers NB (duel major in business and bio) (safety) - Williams (fee waiver) -I would consider Cornell, but I don't have the SAT for it, nor do I have enough units of language (they recommend/require 3, but I only have 2). Otherwise no ivys/ essay: im struggling alot to think of a topic. i can't think of anything personal about me to tell, nor how to bridge that into my interests in med. rn, my essay is about working construction with my dad's small company, and how building a wall taught me to embrace the weak and stronger parts of who i am (like using weak and strong rocks to make a wall) be brutally honest. i did go test optional. im very open to expanding my college list to schools that are very good for pre-med. very open to ideas as well! thank you!!

M4A (Playing F) Star Wars: The Clone Wars SUPER original title, am I right? Hello, everyone! Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE Star Wars, especially TCW, but I haven’t done an actual RP based off of it yet. I’ve done one at the end, but we’ve never really gotten right in the middle of the conflict. So, of course, that’s what we’re doing! My character will be a Jedi Padawan, and yours will be a character who’s in a Separatist Prison. Perhaps they’re a fellow Jedi, a Republic Officer, a Separatist defect, it’s entirely up to you! But the fact remains, she needs help. Who’s going to help her, you ask? A Latero Jedi Master, a small squadron of Clones, and a VERY immature Jedi Padawan who, for some reason, is allowed to openly carry two lightsabers with zero legal repercussions. Also, I don’t mean ‘immature’ literally, he’s like 20. He’s just…kind of an idiot lol. He’s kinda like Thor in the MCU. Really comically stupid except for when he needs to be smart to save his life or people around him. Speaking of, I may or may not make a “Get Help” reference in the Starter. It’s probably the biggest meme of a starter I’ve ever made, but it’s like 4AM when I’m writing this, my brain is defaulting to humour! Comment or message me with your favourite Star Wars character if you’re interested! Starter: —Christophsis, Republic Outpost— “Attention, Commander on Deck!” One of the highest ranking Clones said when Okuro sauntered into the main room of the Republic base. “Good morning to you guys too. Y’know, you really don’t have to do that EVERY time I walk in here. At ease.” He said, and the Clones returned to their normal duties. The one who had called them to attention, Captain Ember, gave a salute anyway. “It’s protocol, Commander.” “Oh forget the protocol. Where’s Master Zib?” Koshon Zib had been Okuro’s Jedi Master for the past several years, since he was around 13 years old. The Latero Jedi Master had trained his fair share of Padawans throughout his life, though none of them left him lying awake at night questioning every life decision he’d ever made in the same way Okuro had these past few years. “You’re late.” Koshon said as he walked into the room. Okuro glanced back at Ember “You’re…you’re not gonna…” He lightly raised his arm up to hint at a salute, like the Clone had just done for him. Even behind the helmet, Okuro could tell how confused Ember was. He turned back to his Master, looking down at the smaller, but older and wiser Jedi. “You’re late too! Or were you just standing behind a box and I couldn’t see you?” He often made jokes about his height, though they were all purely in jest. Despite barely coming up to the Human male’s knees, Okuro knew the Latero could knock him all around the Outer Rim if he were so inclined. “I’ve been here for the past two hours. I was simply in the latrine, not that it’s any of your business.” For a wise Jedi Master, or rather, a guy who had dealt with Okuro for years at this point, one would think he’d be smarter than to give the Padawan that, pardon the pun, nugget of information. “Awww, did the fuzzy widdle Latero go to the bathroom all by himself?” “Padawan—“ “He didn’t even fall in this time, such a good job!” “I never fell in the—“ “Does it come out in little pellets, or do you—“ “WEARENOTHAVINGTHISCONVERSATION!” “Jeez, fine. Don’t be such a party pooper~” The room went silent for a moment, before Ember broke the silence with a barely audible snicker, causing the rest of the Clones in the room to burst into laughter. Koshon did not look amused in the slightest. He walked up to the main holotable, bringing up a hologram of a Separatist Base not too far from their location. “We recently received word that Master Kenobi and General Skywalker have gained significant ground against Separatist forces. With any luck, their Battalion will be able to secure us a victory in this system shortly. However, this base is standing in the way.” “Okay, so we blow up the base. Easy.” “I’m afraid not, Apprentice. This particular base has a very high-profile prisoner with vital information that we can’t risk losing, or worse, falling into Separatist hands.” “Okay, so we rescue the prisoner and THEN blow up the base?” “Not quite. We need to rescue the prisoner, extract any information we can, and get out without alerting the main force to our presence.” “…And THEN we—“ “And then we blow up the base, yes.” “Knew it, ha!” —Christophsis, Separatist Base— “So who’s this high profile prisoner we’re after? Another Jedi? Some big Republic Officer? A local celebrity?” “Master Kenobi didn’t say. I suppose we’ll have to figure out when we rescue them.” “Oh, okay, so we’re just supposed to rescue a prisoner and not know who they are or what they look like? Yeah, real helpful. What, are we supposed to file their taxes for them too?” “Do you even know how to file taxes?” “No, do you?” “No, religion is tax exempt. Jedi counts.” “Huh. Well, I guess you learn something new every day.” “And this is why I’m the Master, and you’re the Padawan. Captain Ember, what do you see?” The Clone Captain looked into his binoculars, moving back to them. “There are only four droids guarding the base’s main entrance. They must mostly be focused on joining the main offensive near General Kenobi and General Skywalker’s positions.” “Well, we still can’t just walk in. If we approach from this distance, it’s unlikely we’ll take them out before they can call for reinforcements.” Okuro listened to this conversation, and his eyes sparkled with an idea. A wonderful idea. A horrible, wonderful, awful idea. “We could do ‘Please Help My Baby’” Koshon’s eyes widened in apparent horror, the small squadron of Clones looked at each other, then at the two Jedi. “No, absolutely not. Not after what happened on Pantora!” “Oh come on, that was an accident!” “You almost botched the entire mission!” “This will be different, I promise!” “No.” “Please?” “No!” “Pleeeeaaassseee?~” “No! Absolutely not! I will never do that again, that is final! Under no circumstances will I ever—“ —Christophsis, Separatist Base, roughly three and a half minutes later— “Help! Please help! It’s my baby!” The four B1 Battle Droids turned their heads, clutching their E-5 Blaster Rifles as Okuro ran down the path to the base, holding Koshon in a blanket like a baby. He was also wearing a blonde wig and talking in a much higher voice. “Why are you wearing a wig?” Koshon whispered, glancing up at him. “So they’ll believe that I’m your mother!” “I don’t think they—“ “Sssshh! They’re getting closer! Go back to being a sick baby!” Okuro continued putting on the ‘distressed mother’ act as he got closer to the droids. The one at the front spoke to him. “You there! This is a restricted area! Leave at once!” “Oh, please, it’s my baby! He’s fallen ill and needs medical attention fast!” The lead droid looked back at the other three, who didn’t seem to know anything more, before looking back at Okuro. “Let us see the baby.” The droid said, and Okuro glanced off to the side, trying to think of something. “He’s, um…feeding?” Koshon tried to protest, but Okuro simply pushed his head into his robe-clad chest, so all that could be heard were the Latero’s muffled grunts of frustration. The B1 pulled him enough to see Koshon’s face, looking between the two. “This baby is not Human!” “He, uh…has a rare hair disorder?” Koshon narrowed his eyes as the droid unfurled the blanket to reveal all four of his arms, as well as the four lightsabers on his belt. “And it has twice as many arms as well! And lightsabers!” “Well, the father is…uh…General Grievous! Yeah, that’s it. Starting his collection early and all that! That’s actually why we’re here! You tell that coughing cyborg bastard that he owes me child support!” B1 Droids weren’t known for their smarts, but even they weren’t this stupid. “You’re Jedi!” The lead one said, and they all aimed their blasters at them. “Well, guess that Lothcat’s out of the bag.” Okuro tossed Koshon up in the air, extending his hands out to push the droids back with the Force. Koshon unfurled out of the robe, igniting the four shoto lightsabers on his belt. With two blue and two green swings, he cut the droids to bits as he landed, signalling for the Clones to come out of hiding as he put his sabers back on his belt. “We are NEVER doing that again.” “That’s what you said the last three times, Master.” Okuro said and grinned at him. When they entered the base, Koshon led the way to the Brig, searching around the various cell doors for the specific one they were looking for. “Keep an eye out, make sure no droids show up.” “Got it.” Okuro said, heading over to a nearby Intercom. “Attention all Separatist Military Personnel. There is a mandatory, uh…oil bath in Sector 42 of the base. Be there or be square!” Okuro turned with an expectant smile towards Koshon, who just narrowed his eyes. “Be there…or be square…” The Latero repeated, and Okuro smiled and nodded. “Yuh-huh!” “…Padawan. Do you know where Sector 42 of a Separatist Military Base is?” “No, why?” “Well, I’ll tell you. Sector 42 is the Brig. Would you like to hazard a guess as to where we are right now?” “The…The brig—“ “The BRIG! And would you like to guess where YOU just sent EVERY DROID IN THE BASE?” “Oh, come on, Master, I’m sure none of them are even—“ The sound of dozens of metallic footsteps marching in both directions slowly got closer, confirming their fears. “I have many questions regarding your sanity, Padawan. The top question on that list…WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING THE WIG?!” “If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be as a loving mother protecting her child!” “Why couldn’t you have just been the father?” “Why couldn’t YOU be a convincing baby?!” “Ugh, we don’t have time for this. This is the cell, hurry!” Koshon used the Force to disengage the locks, shuffling them all into the cell and shutting it just before the horde of droids came through. They all turned, looking back at the prisoner inside, and Okuro, of course, was the first to speak. “Hey…wanna buy a wig? Barely used.”

We’ve been dating for like a month. We’re both in college so we’re both pretty busy and I live off campus so we don’t see each other. We only hang out on Sundays at each others houses. My question is, is it normal to only see each other on the weekends? Also, we only text each other and he takes hours to respond. He also does fun things on fridays and Saturdays alone, so it kinda feels like I’m in a relationship but not really. I just wish he’d want to hang out more without me asking him. I haven’t brought this up yet but should I? I don’t want to see clingy but I definitely need more time with him if we’re gonna continue. Idk I just feel like all guys my age aren’t mature enough for me but maybe I’m jumping to conclusions.

M4A (Playing F) Star Wars: The Clone Wars SUPER original title, am I right? Hello, everyone! Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE Star Wars, especially TCW, but I haven’t done an actual RP based off of it yet. I’ve done one at the end, but we’ve never really gotten right in the middle of the conflict. So, of course, that’s what we’re doing! My character will be a Jedi Padawan, and yours will be a character who’s in a Separatist Prison. Perhaps they’re a fellow Jedi, a Republic Officer, a Separatist defect, it’s entirely up to you! But the fact remains, she needs help. Who’s going to help her, you ask? A Latero Jedi Master, a small squadron of Clones, and a VERY immature Jedi Padawan who, for some reason, is allowed to openly carry two lightsabers with zero legal repercussions. Also, I don’t mean ‘immature’ literally, he’s like 20. He’s just…kind of an idiot lol. He’s kinda like Thor in the MCU. Really comically stupid except for when he needs to be smart to save his life or people around him. Speaking of, I may or may not make a “Get Help” reference in the Starter. It’s probably the biggest meme of a starter I’ve ever made, but it’s like 4AM when I’m writing this, my brain is defaulting to humour! Comment or message me with your favourite Star Wars character if you’re interested! Starter: —Christophsis, Republic Outpost— “Attention, Commander on Deck!” One of the highest ranking Clones said when Okuro sauntered into the main room of the Republic base. “Good morning to you guys too. Y’know, you really don’t have to do that EVERY time I walk in here. At ease.” He said, and the Clones returned to their normal duties. The one who had called them to attention, Captain Ember, gave a salute anyway. “It’s protocol, Commander.” “Oh forget the protocol. Where’s Master Zib?” Koshon Zib had been Okuro’s Jedi Master for the past several years, since he was around 13 years old. The Latero Jedi Master had trained his fair share of Padawans throughout his life, though none of them left him lying awake at night questioning every life decision he’d ever made in the same way Okuro had these past few years. “You’re late.” Koshon said as he walked into the room. Okuro glanced back at Ember “You’re…you’re not gonna…” He lightly raised his arm up to hint at a salute, like the Clone had just done for him. Even behind the helmet, Okuro could tell how confused Ember was. He turned back to his Master, looking down at the smaller, but older and wiser Jedi. “You’re late too! Or were you just standing behind a box and I couldn’t see you?” He often made jokes about his height, though they were all purely in jest. Despite barely coming up to the Human male’s knees, Okuro knew the Latero could knock him all around the Outer Rim if he were so inclined. “I’ve been here for the past two hours. I was simply in the latrine, not that it’s any of your business.” For a wise Jedi Master, or rather, a guy who had dealt with Okuro for years at this point, one would think he’d be smarter than to give the Padawan that, pardon the pun, nugget of information. “Awww, did the fuzzy widdle Latero go to the bathroom all by himself?” “Padawan—“ “He didn’t even fall in this time, such a good job!” “I never fell in the—“ “Does it come out in little pellets, or do you—“ “WEARENOTHAVINGTHISCONVERSATION!” “Jeez, fine. Don’t be such a party pooper~” The room went silent for a moment, before Ember broke the silence with a barely audible snicker, causing the rest of the Clones in the room to burst into laughter. Koshon did not look amused in the slightest. He walked up to the main holotable, bringing up a hologram of a Separatist Base not too far from their location. “We recently received word that Master Kenobi and General Skywalker have gained significant ground against Separatist forces. With any luck, their Battalion will be able to secure us a victory in this system shortly. However, this base is standing in the way.” “Okay, so we blow up the base. Easy.” “I’m afraid not, Apprentice. This particular base has a very high-profile prisoner with vital information that we can’t risk losing, or worse, falling into Separatist hands.” “Okay, so we rescue the prisoner and THEN blow up the base?” “Not quite. We need to rescue the prisoner, extract any information we can, and get out without alerting the main force to our presence.” “…And THEN we—“ “And then we blow up the base, yes.” “Knew it, ha!” —Christophsis, Separatist Base— “So who’s this high profile prisoner we’re after? Another Jedi? Some big Republic Officer? A local celebrity?” “Master Kenobi didn’t say. I suppose we’ll have to figure out when we rescue them.” “Oh, okay, so we’re just supposed to rescue a prisoner and not know who they are or what they look like? Yeah, real helpful. What, are we supposed to file their taxes for them too?” “Do you even know how to file taxes?” “No, do you?” “No, religion is tax exempt. Jedi counts.” “Huh. Well, I guess you learn something new every day.” “And this is why I’m the Master, and you’re the Padawan. Captain Ember, what do you see?” The Clone Captain looked into his binoculars, moving back to them. “There are only four droids guarding the base’s main entrance. They must mostly be focused on joining the main offensive near General Kenobi and General Skywalker’s positions.” “Well, we still can’t just walk in. If we approach from this distance, it’s unlikely we’ll take them out before they can call for reinforcements.” Okuro listened to this conversation, and his eyes sparkled with an idea. A wonderful idea. A horrible, wonderful, awful idea. “We could do ‘Please Help My Baby’” Koshon’s eyes widened in apparent horror, the small squadron of Clones looked at each other, then at the two Jedi. “No, absolutely not. Not after what happened on Pantora!” “Oh come on, that was an accident!” “You almost botched the entire mission!” “This will be different, I promise!” “No.” “Please?” “No!” “Pleeeeaaassseee?~” “No! Absolutely not! I will never do that again, that is final! Under no circumstances will I ever—“ —Christophsis, Separatist Base, roughly three and a half minutes later— “Help! Please help! It’s my baby!” The four B1 Battle Droids turned their heads, clutching their E-5 Blaster Rifles as Okuro ran down the path to the base, holding Koshon in a blanket like a baby. He was also wearing a blonde wig and talking in a much higher voice. “Why are you wearing a wig?” Koshon whispered, glancing up at him. “So they’ll believe that I’m your mother!” “I don’t think they—“ “Sssshh! They’re getting closer! Go back to being a sick baby!” Okuro continued putting on the ‘distressed mother’ act as he got closer to the droids. The one at the front spoke to him. “You there! This is a restricted area! Leave at once!” “Oh, please, it’s my baby! He’s fallen ill and needs medical attention fast!” The lead droid looked back at the other three, who didn’t seem to know anything more, before looking back at Okuro. “Let us see the baby.” The droid said, and Okuro glanced off to the side, trying to think of something. “He’s, um…feeding?” Koshon tried to protest, but Okuro simply pushed his head into his robe-clad chest, so all that could be heard were the Latero’s muffled grunts of frustration. The B1 pulled him enough to see Koshon’s face, looking between the two. “This baby is not Human!” “He, uh…has a rare hair disorder?” Koshon narrowed his eyes as the droid unfurled the blanket to reveal all four of his arms, as well as the four lightsabers on his belt. “And it has twice as many arms as well! And lightsabers!” “Well, the father is…uh…General Grievous! Yeah, that’s it. Starting his collection early and all that! That’s actually why we’re here! You tell that coughing cyborg bastard that he owes me child support!” B1 Droids weren’t known for their smarts, but even they weren’t this stupid. “You’re Jedi!” The lead one said, and they all aimed their blasters at them. “Well, guess that Lothcat’s out of the bag.” Okuro tossed Koshon up in the air, extending his hands out to push the droids back with the Force. Koshon unfurled out of the robe, igniting the four shoto lightsabers on his belt. With two blue and two green swings, he cut the droids to bits as he landed, signalling for the Clones to come out of hiding as he put his sabers back on his belt. “We are NEVER doing that again.” “That’s what you said the last three times, Master.” Okuro said and grinned at him. When they entered the base, Koshon led the way to the Brig, searching around the various cell doors for the specific one they were looking for. “Keep an eye out, make sure no droids show up.” “Got it.” Okuro said, heading over to a nearby Intercom. “Attention all Separatist Military Personnel. There is a mandatory, uh…oil bath in Sector 42 of the base. Be there or be square!” Okuro turned with an expectant smile towards Koshon, who just narrowed his eyes. “Be there…or be square…” The Latero repeated, and Okuro smiled and nodded. “Yuh-huh!” “…Padawan. Do you know where Sector 42 of a Separatist Military Base is?” “No, why?” “Well, I’ll tell you. Sector 42 is the Brig. Would you like to hazard a guess as to where we are right now?” “The…The brig—“ “The BRIG! And would you like to guess where YOU just sent EVERY DROID IN THE BASE?” “Oh, come on, Master, I’m sure none of them are even—“ The sound of dozens of metallic footsteps marching in both directions slowly got closer, confirming their fears. “I have many questions regarding your sanity, Padawan. The top question on that list…WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING THE WIG?!” “If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be as a loving mother protecting her child!” “Why couldn’t you have just been the father?” “Why couldn’t YOU be a convincing baby?!” “Ugh, we don’t have time for this. This is the cell, hurry!” Koshon used the Force to disengage the locks, shuffling them all into the cell and shutting it just before the horde of droids came through. They all turned, looking back at the prisoner inside, and Okuro, of course, was the first to speak. “Hey…wanna buy a wig? Barely used.”